3.26.2015

Thoughts for Thursday: Life with Two under Two

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Thoughts for Thursday


I've written and re-written this post about 100 times.  I want to talk about my experience so far with two babies 16 month apart but sometimes I just can't even find the right words to say.  Somedays I feel like a superhero and think this is the easiest job in the world.  Other days I'm crying in my coffee by 10am and calling my husband begging him to come home early from work because I need a break.



A lot of people warned me that the first 6 months would be hell.  Some people told me it would take about a year to really adjust to it all.  Some people told me going from one to two kids is the hardest transition no matter what the age because trying to cater to two people who are fully dependant on you for everything is exhausting, mentally and physically.  One of my friends even told me she was convinced she and her husband were going to get a divorce in those early months of two under two because she felt so stretched thin and felt like he didn't understand at all how hard it was. 



I tried not to listen to too much advice and go into this experience day by day.   For us the first two months were a breeze!! Matthew slept all the time and was a pretty easy to please baby.  I was still able to devote a lot of time to Miller still and make him feel special.  I had so many moments when I thought "wow this is so easy! I can't believe people think this is tough!"



Right around three months old Matthew "woke up" and that's when things started to get tricky.  I still felt pretty good juggling it all and we worked out a new routine that worked for everyone.   Once four months hit is when things started to get hard.  Both Matthew and Miller are going through a "phase" and it's been rough going the past few weeks.  Hence the lack of blog posts.   Matthew, my sweet easy going baby, has been hit with the four month sleep regression the past two weeks and it's been tough! He's back to waking up 2-3 times a night and wants to eat non-stop during the day.   He also is a lot harder to please and doesn't calm down quite as quickly as before.   His personality is so different from Miller's already.  He's such a happy guy, seriously smiling all the time, until he's mad and then he is pissed off!! 



At this same time Miller has a bad case of separation anxiety and wants to be near us or touching us 24/7.  He also hates his crib so naps and nighttime sleep have been rough!  The lack of sleep has made him so cranky during the day and his jealousy of Matthew in the evenings has skyrocketed.  He gets really upset when his mommy has to hold his baby all day and just wants me to put him down. 



 Now it hasn't all been bad!  There have been so many good things that have come out of this experience too.   My time with Miller is so much more intentional now.  Sometimes when we would play before I would be distracted, looking at my phone or talking on the phone, or just not paying attention.  (I mean we can't pay attention 100% of the time but you know what I mean) Now I make sure that my playtime with Miller is just that, lots of play time together and I'm 100% engaged in him.   It also makes me appreciate all my quiet snuggle time with Matthew.  There is a time during the day when Miller is asleep and Matthew is awake and I try to soak up all my baby moments with him and just devoted 100% to him.  



Then there are my favorite times.  The times when Miller and Matthew are interacting. While Miller still has a lot of jealousy he is really starting to like Matthew a lot.  He loves to play with him and show him his toys.  He also loves to be a helper.  He will give Matthew back his pacifier or lovie, he will cover him with a blanket.  He will get me when Matthew is crying.  He really wants me to let Matthew sleep in his crib and it's adorable how I will lay him down in there and Miller will lay down next him and hold his hand.  It makes my heart melt. 
Matthew is just in heaven during these times too.  He is mesmerized by Miller and wants to be watching his every move.  If Matthew could stare at anyone all day it would be Miller.  It's so fun to watch his face light up and his smile get really big when Miller says Hi to him or shows him a toy.  I cannot wait to see their sibling bond develop and grow over the years.   Those are the moments that make all the crazy ones so worth it. 

That's the first 4.5 months in a nutshell.  I could have written about 100 more paragraphs but I didn't want to put you all to sleep. I'm going to try to give these updates more often going forward. 

Anyone else with two under two agree? or anyone with two kids think the transition was hard?  If you only have one are you nervous to add another baby to the family?   Would love to hear your thoughts!


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11 comments :

  1. Thank you for sharing this! We are expecting baby #2 and they will be 20 months apart. We have it really easy with our first one and I can't even imagine what it is going to be like with another. Thank you for being honest and sharing some insight into your experience. Winks and Eyerolls

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  2. My two oldest children were 15 months apart. They are now 8 & 9 years old. It is hard, so hard! The saying is true, "The days are long but the years are short." Make time for yourself and don't be afraid to ask for help. Hang in there. It does get easier!
    Traci
    waltzmetoheaven.com

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  3. Having a second child was the hardest thing ever in our house. It took us a solid year to feel "ok." I'm glad yours are getting along so well! I know there are hard times, but I love how you really try to focus on them each and savor the moments!

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  4. You know it's funny because those first few months/years were so hazy from exhaustion and the constant need for Mommy's attention that I really forget so much of those hard beginning days. Clearly that goes to show that things change and gradually you have more good days and weeks than bad! I do remember trying so hard to make everyone (including my husband) think that all was 100% great and that took a real strain on me...which led to blowups with my husband over nothing yet everything. So make sure you're being honest with Kyle and yourself and accept help when you can. All that being said, I don't think it matters if your kids are 9 months apart or 10 years - going from 1 to 2 kids is exponentially harder than one would expect (I hear - and hope - it gets easier with any additional children). Also, remember that siblings will always go through phases where one or both will be jealous, will have issues playing together, etc. so the days when they're completely good, thank your stars!

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  5. I have been there on those crying in my coffee cup days and I only have one babe, I can't imagine doing it with two! You're doing so great even though it doesn't feel like it sometimes! And I love all of the matching outfits on Miller and Matthew :)

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  6. Sending you hugs and caffeine. This stage with wo kids is HARD. Somehow it's more than twice the work. I tell my husband all the time that I'm so glad no one warned me how hard having two could be at times because then maybe I wouldn't have done it. And I am so glad we did it. I'm holding out hope that once I'm done nursing I'll have a few seconds left in my day to spend with my husband or by myself, doing something for me. It got easier the first time around so I'm hoping that's the case with two. ;)

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  7. You are definitely a superhero in my book! My sister has three and I swear she is never stopping on the go! Look at those sweet faces! I'm sure they love their momma so much!!!!

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  8. I so feel you. All I can say is hang in there. I was in your exact same place when my little one, Grace, was 4.5 months old. She is now seven months old and it has improved dramatically. She can sit on her own and play with a toy and every day my 25 month old gets a bit more independent. I am afraid for when Grace starts crawling though - then it'll be back to one giant juggle.

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  9. I can't imagine life with two kids (not until a long long time from now) but I'm sure the adjustment from 1 to 2 is very difficult! But you're doing the best you can do and that's what matters :) Being a mom is the hardest job in the world :)

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  10. After being in relationship with him for 3 years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the other ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is DRAISEDIONSPELLCASTER@GMAIL.COM you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or any other problem.

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