We decided in 2012 since we were 30 and felt well established in our lives that we were finally ready to start a family.
Well month after month nothing was happening and I'd gotten used to seeing the negative tests, because trust me when you're trying you will pee on a stick a week before you're supposed to just in case. After 6 months of negatives we decided that we weren't really going to "focus" on it in September. We had a lot of weddings and traveling so it didn't fit into our schedule and we felt like we needed a little break. I decided that month too that I wanted to get myself back into good shape, maybe lose 5-10lbs and start up again in a few months. I was thinking maybe around or after Christmas. To be honest I think September was one of the most fun months I had this year because I didn't have the weigh of trying for a baby on my shoulders and I was being so good about going to the gym and eating healthy. Life had another plan.
Fast forward to October 16th, it was a Tuesday and I was super stressed from work. I had just gotten home and all I wanted to do was pour myself a HUGE glass of wine and then it dawned on me that I was 2 days late. I went upstairs and took a test expecting it to be negative so I just went about my evening chores. Well about 5-10 mins later I remembered the test and strolled into my bathroom casually, expecting to just throw it away and that's when I looked down and saw 2 lines. I'm pretty sure the first words out of my mouth were, "Are you #$%&! kidding me?"
I was in SHOCK. That was the only test I had so I started to panic and realized I needed to take at least 10 more to be sure. Kyle was in class so I couldn't call him and I didn't know what to do, I paced around my house for a few minutes and then my sister called. She started to tell me that she was near my house and wanted to see what I was doing and I bascially just kept saying "Oh my god I'm freaking out, I'm freaking out". She suddenly caught on and was like "OH MY GOD ARE YOU PREGNANT?" I think I sweaked out a yes and that I only had 1 test that I took. My sister immediately came to my house and we went to Target where we bought 3 more tests.
The first test I took is in the middle.
I think it finally became real to me when the Clearblue digital test said Pregnant. I was filled with so many emotions, shock, excitement, fear, elation, more fear, etc I didn't really know how to feel.
I waited for Kyle to get home from class at 10:00pm (the longest 3 hours of my life) and I just bombarded him with the news right when he got in the door and handed him the 3 tests while half giggling, half crying. I'm pretty sure I told him I was shocked and scared and excited and I hoped he was too. That part is kind of blurry. He was pretty shocked too and honestly walked around our house with his backpack on and his work bag still in his hand for about 10 minutes talking out loud about the situation and calming himself down. It's pretty funny to look back on now.
I didn't realize how much those little sticks could drastically change your life. I mean I knew but you don't feel the weight of it until you're in that situation. Sometimes I still think, "OMG I'm going to be someone's mom!" Sometimes me and Kyle sit around and just talk about how there is a human being growing in my body (I still can't get over that part) and that in just 5 months we're going to have a baby that is ours and we're responsible for.