You guys I have been the worst blogger lately. I want to blog, I have about 100 things I want to tell you but I'm either too tired to write or I sit down to write and I can't remember anything I want to say.
I love this little baby boy to death but he is stealing ALL of my energy and brain cells. I pretty much need a nap by 4pm every day and I CANNOT REMEMBER ANYTHING.
It's getting bad.
- I made an appointment to meet with a client tonight at 6pm, well I'm supposed to be picking up my mother in law from the train station at 6pm- whoops! (Thankfully Kyle is going to pick her up)
- A co-worker asked me if I was free this Friday for lunch and to go over stuff and I said oh yeah it's free day. Well it's not, tomorrow is Kyle's MBA graduation at 12:30pm- which is why my mother in law is coming into town yet somehow I can't keep track of these important details!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I hate feeling so out of control. I put things in my calendar but I'm pretty sure I need a reminder for my reminder to check my calendar.
I'm thinking it might have to do with the fact that May felt so far away and now suddenly we're half way through it and I'm starting to panic. My brain is running in a million circles.
Shits getting real. My due date is less than 6 weeks away. While I feel prepared to have this baby ie- I have a crib, a swing, diapers, clothes, bottles, baby books etc. I'm not sure I'm mentally prepared for how much my life is going to change. I start to doubt myself.
Don't get me wrong I am so excited for this next chapter and feel so incredibly blessed but it's little things like I will no longer be able to run to Target for a quick trip if I'm out of bread or I can't just meet friends for drinks and dinner after work or the fact that he's going to need to be feed, dressed, nurtured, loved, and cared for every day for the REST OF HIS LIFE!!!!
That's a lot of responsiblity. Raising a human is terrifying. Shouldn't I have to pass a national exam or something to see if I'm actually prepared to handle this?!
Sorry guys I just had to vent for a minute. Anyone else feel this way or have felt this way?